How Slime is Like Knitting

I am a slug. My creativity is slime.

Let me explain.

You see, when slugs are in their ideal environment, they happily cruise around from point A to point B. All their needs are met by lush vegetation and soggy climate. A slug in it's ideal habitat exudes very little slime.

But stick a slug in a less than ideal environment. Maybe it's too dry. Maybe it's too warm. Whatever the discomfort, a slug will use it's one superpower: Slime. Silvery slime trails will cover everything.  Even the slug will be coated in it's own protective slime layer.

Do you see my analogy? Since the move, I've been so ecstatically happy to be where I am, I haven't been very creative. Sure, every once in a while, I'll pull out the yarn while watching a movie.  Or I'll dust off the sewing machine.  In fact, two weeks ago the temperature hit 78 (a real heat wave for the Pacific Northwest) and I started working on a project that had been hibernating for over a year. But for the most part I'm too busy enjoying the life going on around me to care about the new Vogue Knitting, or the yarn shop that went out of business.

And I'm okay with that. Except it makes for a boring craft blog.

Praying Mantis Costume*

Buy a handmade praying mantis costume on my Etsy site!

It would appear that my idea for a preying mantis costume is contagious. Two years ago, Yummy asked to be a praying mantis for Halloween:

Preying Mantis Costume

And after a few inquiries from complete strangers, I decided to test the water by selling the preying mantis costume at my Etsy store.

So now I have 24 yards of green polar fleece en route to my house.  And later, I may create (and copyright) the pattern.

What other Halloween costume ideas do you have?  Preferably using green fleece.

*The above post was hand-crafted by the Businessman for ideal SEO.  After he's done writing my business plan, I'll write one for him selling his hand-crafted SEOptimized blog posts.  And we'll live happily ever after.

Daydreams

Okay, remember this?

Like anyone could forget such an atrocity on the eyes. 

Ick.

Well, money is tight.  But seeing that this is the dream home and all, I think it's okay to have short-term, and long term plans.

Short term:

Rip out the back splash.  Paint the walls. Paint the cabinets a deep espresso brown/black.  Paint the doors cream, pop some color in a few of the blocks.  Wash them with a brown glaze (just to tone down the color).  Possibly replace the floors with a medium-toned wood.

And voila!

It's kitchy, a little retro, maybe cool.  I don't know.  The Businessman doesn't like it.  Of course, he likes the old kitchen.

Long term: 

Put Martha Stewart on speed dial.

Ah, the Bank-Owned Property

We decided our timeline permitted us to take advantage of the foreclosure side of the market.  We'd been looking at houses for a couple months and once we finally came under contract in Ft Collins, our Real Estate Agent took us through a few bank-owned and foreclosure properties.

Scary.  And not quite the deals you would think once you've repaired everything.  Like a new roof, new siding, new carpets, or a new basement because the kitchen flooded at some point and no one was there for weeks so the entire basement and main floor are covered in green mold.  Covered in green mold.

I like green but not at the cost of my asthmatic child's life.

We are buying a bank-owned property.  We found one that chimed us every single time we looked at it.  The inspector had tons of great things to say about the new roof, the furnace, the siding.  And, to our amazement, the bank had already arranged for new carpet to be installed before our offer, so we have an entire house with brand spanking new carpet (and some new linoleum in the mudroom and one of the bathrooms).

But, since it is bank-owned, there is one problem. 

The picture that follows may be unsuitable for delicate stomachs.  Or people with heart conditions.  In fact, you should probably only look at this picture if you're blind.

This is my new kitchen. 

Isn't it amazing?  I don't know which I like better: The goofy linoleum backsplash, the horribly dated cabinet doors, or the countertops.   

Actually, I hate it all.  But if it's the worse thing that can be said of this house (which we're buying for a steal!) I'll live with it.  At least until I can convince The Businessman that sledgehammers are fun.

Best Intentions

I do intend to start blogging regularly again.

No.  Really.  I do.

I'm biding my time, living in a tiny rental, wishing I could paint, rearrange furniture, and cook grilled cheese without my kitchen looking like a bomb exploded. 

We are a tall family and we need space to stand upright.  Generations ago, the first MountainCave Mama stood upright on her large feet, painted the rock walls, knit some throw pillows out of mammoth wool and then probably bumped her head on a stalagtite and demanded her BusinessCaveman find taller habitation.

This Mountain Mama has evolved (though she's still looking for evidence of evolution in the Businessman) and will be moving into her Dream Home soon.  Very soon.  Like four weeks.

At which point the blog will probably become more about home renovations than knitting, but whatever. 

I'll be blogging.

Has It Really Been *mumble* Months?

So...how are things?

o_O

I've been slogging my way through life, anticipating the day when all the dust will settle and I will wake up living my dream.

You know, the dream where I get the most awesome house in the world but it's only awesome in my head because I'm the only one who has the vision but that's a good thng because no one else wants the house and the bank'll sell it to me for a song.  Except the song is more like a ballad (which is still a song) and my visions may be delusions but what else is new?

That day is not here yet.  But, my friends, I'm close.  So close.

Any more details at this time would send Mr. Murphy (of Murphy's Law) into a bevy of excitement.  And I'd rather let the gentleman rest.  I've already wreaked so much havoc on his blood pressure.

Updates

Phase 1 Complete: The Businessman has a new job!
Ft Collins was headed toward a dead end for him.  Now he has a proper job in a proper city for his talents.  It's nice to have my husband back.

Phase 2 Complete: We've moved!
I now live in my favorite area of the country--the Pacific Northwest.  My family is in a rental that's about the size of a postage stamp but has 276 shades of green in the backyard.  The Businessman, ever the optimist, keeps saying phrases like "this is cozy" and "how much space do people really need?"  Since more than half of our belongings (including My Sewing Room) are in storage, my opinions regarding square footage requirements are mixed.

Phase 3: Pending: I'm still a victim of the real estate market
Our home in Ft. Collins hasn't sold yet, ergo the rental.  Which leads us to...

Phase 4: Pending: Buy new house.
Not likely until phase 3 is complete.

It's chaos. It's frustration. It's tense. And when all the dust is settled...

I'll still be living in my favorite part of the country.