My 5yo's last day of (overpriced) preschool was yesterday. There is very little (enthusiasm) pomp and circumstance at this (overpriced) facility so I took it upon myself to let him forget his lunchbox and surprise him with a happy meal.

All was going well. My 2yo got a happy meal too and was happy as a clam sitting with the big kids and eating their processed, genetically modifed, greasebomb food. I was doing what I usually do--standing there waiting for the kids to finish their lunch while I chat with the teachers when I glanced at my 2yo.

The child had barfed spectacularly. For a kid who ate ten cheerios and a bite of a peach for breakfast there was a phenominal amount of vomit. How can a kid make quarts of puke while eating nothing? Miraculous. Seriously, physicists everywhere should test their matter/mass/energy theories on young children. Don't tell me that in order to create mass you need astronomical amounts of energy. . . oh wait, young children have astronomical amounts of energy.

So now the table, chair, floor and child are covered. Child is screaming. Pregnant teacher is gagging and other teacher is trying to control the class. We all struggle to assist terrified 2yo and manage to get him, the chair, the floor, the table somewhat clean.

And it's time for us to go. I would have liked a better send-off for my 5yo, but it was not to be.

And we are going the whole Summer without Happy meals.