A little less than a year ago I got a new vacuum cleaner.

Seven years previously, I got my first vacuum cleaner as a wedding gift. I used it a couple times in our apartment. That was before kids and outdoor hobbies and when we were almost never actually at home, so an occasional once-over of the carpet was adequate. Perhaps I would have done it more often but this particular model had this noise. It seemed about twice as loud as an ordinary vacuum and there was this underlying tone that irritated me. By irritated I mean I was filled with anger when I used it AND I had that sort of pain that really isn't pain that comes when your ears have a momentary high-pitched ringing. You think "ouch" but you don't really hurt. I realize now, I could have taken it in and replaced with a model that worked correctly, but at the time I just dealt with it.

So the years passed by, we moved to a state that encouraged us to play outdoors. We had children, we had mud and leaves and dust. Our floors demanded more attention, but I didn't want to use our old machine.

Finally I broke down. There was a great sale and I had a coupon. I got the kind that lets you see exactly how much dirt you have in your floors. There was no bag and it made a normal noise while in use.

I loved it. I still do but it took me a full week to get just my main floor in decent shape. I was sucking enormous amounts of...it was nasty. The bags I would empty the canister into actually had heft. YUCK.

This is what we had been living in.

So now I have a different house. A house that has been occupied by a bachelor for seven years.

He must have had the same crappy vacuum I had.