Phrases I use far too often around here:

Because I told you too. (Relative of "Because I said so" which I would never say)
Did anyone feed the cat? Then why is he biting my ankles?
Where's the cat?
Stop hitting your brother.
You cannot throw golfballs in the house.
Do you think screaming is a good way to ask for help?
Because I'm mean.
Life isn't fair.

And my favorite:
Keep your underpants on. (Literally)

Airing of the Stash

There are numerous knitting Icons who encourage a yearly "Airing of the Stash" though I think the actual term comes from Cast On's Brenda Dayne.

This year, it wasn't hard: thanks to the work I did this Summer on My Sewing Room most of my yarn is sitting tidily in it's corner. The tricky part was finding the hidden caches, like the basket on a shelf in a cabinet behind another shelf (thank goodness for castors) or the wonderful totebasket for the living room to hold only my current project that multiplied exponentially and filled up the bookshelves.

I keep my stash in Excel so I can wrangle a funky equation that theorhetically tells me how much yarn I can buy (one skein for every two used) but really tells me I have bought far more then I should have (It was a silly resolution anyway) because I'm a nerd.

I was logging my yarn and I noticed a few differences between last year and this year:

• I bought less yarn
• No wait, I bought fewer different yarns. This means instead of one beautiful skein that I could make a ??? with (And I don't need any more of those) I would buy a sweaters' worth of yarn. So more skeins, but fewer rows in Excel.
• I have finished seven sweaters since August. Four of them were started in the past seven months. While this consumes yarn, it leads me into a false feeling of stash reduction.
• I still have an embarrassing amount of yarn. The only thing protecting my head from exploding at the quantity is the knowledge that it couldn't fill a moving box (and I have heard of people who have boxes (plural!!!) of sock yarn alone.
• It takes a depressingly long time to knit up a 450 yard skein of sock yarn.
• With all my fair isle sweaters (I've made three now) I have 50 partial skeins of Knit Picks Pallette (why does a pattern say it uses 750 yds of a color when it only used 422?)which is probably enough to make three more sweaters or six more vests. However, I will stab those 2.5 mm needles through my nostrils and out my ears before I cast on for another fair isle project.

So, not being in the habit of self voodoolation, I'm taking those fifty skeins into my SnB tomorrow and I will try to pawn them off on anyone who wants them.

Half of 50 is 25. I could buy 25 new skeins...

Blog Blahs

Life is at a state of steady busy-ness: I have been very busy with the usual life stuff, but nothing of interest has happened.

This makes for slow blogging.

So, you can either hope for a microdisaster in my life so that you may be entertained, or you can get off the computer and wreak havoc in your own life.

Your choice.

Role Models

While folding laundry:

Vish: What's this?
Me: This? It's a bra. It's an undershirt girls wear when they grow up.
Vish: What's Dat?
Me: What?
Vish: Dat?
Me: What's dat?
Vish: Um, the boy who lives with us and drinks coffee.

*pause to hide giggling*

Me: You mean Dad?
Vish: Yeah, Dat!

At Least I think it's Cool

I popped into Crow yesterday in my yoga class.

Does anyone other than me find that impressive?

Mountain Dew, Fritos, and Ergonomic Peripherals

Okay, this next sentence is going to make you all know how much of a nerd I really am:

So I was listening to my math podcast...

*sigh*

...last December and they had some gift suggestions for math geeks. One of the suggestions was a computer game called DROD.

Normally I avoid computer games. Not because I'm against them, but because they have a potential for huge time-suck (which is also why I try not to linger on Facebook either, but I digress). However, my math podcast hyped it so I thought I'd try the demo.

I have found the need to limit myself to one dungeon room a day. There is just this huge satisfaction of swinging my sword at a cockroach (and hearing that popping noise) that has rendered me addicted. The game is intriguingly simple, but so darned challenging. I keep meeting new enemies, like tar and evil eyes, and I have to figure out the puzzles that will let me escape.

On occasion I get very stuck so I meander to the message boards for hints (not solutions) and I enter geekdom. These people speak languages I can't hope to understand, with words like "Data/Bitmaps directory" and "dynamically loads a .tim file." I am so swimming in deep, deep water here.

I wonder if any of them can fix my router?

Daring Bakers-January

This month's challenge is brought to us by Karen of Bake My Day and Zorra of 1x umruehren bitte aka Kochtopf. They have chosen Tuiles from The Chocolate Book by Angélique Schmeink and Nougatine and Chocolate Tuiles from Michel Roux.

So my mind ran off with itself regarding this challenge. I had visions of making these tuiles and shaping them into curlicues and spirals and then using them to decorate The Businessman's birthday cake.

I was humbled. I think I spent too much time imagining the finale and didn't pay full attention to the execution.

The batter came together nicely. I refrigerated it for a few hours and then rushed to make them. I tried to pipe long lines of dough which I thought I could wrap around wooden spoon handles for the curlicues. I baked them about 6 minutes and tried to lift one up to form it while still warm. It was a little underdone, I think, and stuck to the parchment. I tried to drape the parchment over a rolling pin and the sticks cracked on me:

My kids thought they were edible.

Then I tried the stencil thing. I pulled a sheet of plastic stencils that are meant to be used for scrapbooking--there were images of palm trees, starfish, clouds, etc. This was the smartest thing I had done thus far. The stencils came out of the oven beautifully. I let them cool flat. Unfortunately, the palm tree was a little underdone and broke when I tried to lift it.

Above: Beach shapes and blobs.

At this point, I was trying to make dinner, separate fighting kids, and clean the kitchen and the charm of tuiles had worn off. The cookies were inhaled quickly and all evidence destroyed.

What I learned:

• Stop thinking grand until I've had practice
• Try again later--perhaps Valentine's Day
• Refocus my DB efforts and remember this is supposed to be fun!
  

Following is a recipe taken from a book called “The Chocolate Book”, written by female Dutch Master chef Angélique Schmeinck.

Recipe:Yields: 20 small butterflies/6 large (butterflies are just an example)

Preparation time batter 10 minutes, waiting time 30 minutes, baking time: 5-10 minutes per batch

65 grams / ¼ cup / 2.3 ounces softened butter (not melted but soft)

60 grams / ½ cup / 2.1 ounces sifted confectioner’s sugar

1 sachet vanilla sugar (7 grams or substitute with a dash of vanilla extract)

2 large egg whites (slightly whisked with a fork)

65 grams / 1/2 cup / 2.3 ounces sifted all purpose flour

1 table spoon cocoa powder/or food coloring of choice

Butter/spray to grease baking sheet

Oven: 180C / 350F

Using a hand whisk or a stand mixer fitted with the paddle (low speed) and cream butter, sugar and vanilla to a paste. Keep stirring while you gradually add the egg whites. Continue to add the flour in small batches and stir to achieve a homogeneous and smooth batter/paste. Be careful to not overmix.Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and chill in the fridge for at least 30 minutes to firm up. (This batter will keep in the fridge for up to a week, take it out 30 minutes before you plan to use it).

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or grease with either butter/spray and chill in the fridge for at least 15 minutes. This will help spread the batter more easily if using a stencil/cardboard template such as the butterfly. Press the stencil on the bakingsheet and use an off sided spatula to spread batter. Leave some room in between your shapes. Mix a small part of the batter with the cocoa and a few drops of warm water until evenly colored. Use this colored batter in a paper piping bag and proceed to pipe decorations on the wings and body of the butterfly.Bake butterflies in a preheated oven (180C/350F) for about 5-10 minutes or until the edges turn golden brown. Immediately release from bakingsheet and proceed to shape/bend the cookies in the desired shape. These cookies have to be shaped when still warm, you might want to bake a small amount at a time or maybe put them in the oven to warm them up again. (Haven’t tried that). Or: place a bakingsheet toward the front of the warm oven, leaving the door half open. The warmth will keep the cookies malleable.If you don’t want to do stencil shapes, you might want to transfer the batter into a piping bag fitted with a small plain tip. Pipe the desired shapes and bake. Shape immediately after baking using for instance a rolling pin, a broom handle, cups, cones….

Deductions

I got Deduction Pro as a free add-on last year when I filed my taxes. I highly recommend it--providing you itemize your deductions. Especially with kids who grow out of clothes on a weekly basis.

I just went through the growing pile of outgrown clothing I stash in a corner of my office. I brought up a trashbag and carefully itemized everything I stuffed in it.

One trash bag of clothing ended up being about $250.00. I would have guessed its value to be $50.00. Had I bought this software, it would have paid for itself with the first trash bag.

I feel like I'm cheating--I'm not (big brother if you're watching) but I feel like it.

Confession

I hired a personal trainer.

I avoid hiring people to do jobs that I think I should be able to do. This includes housecleaning, haircutting and until now, personal training.

But I have been on my own for years now and I just haven't made it work. My gym was running a deal and I hired one. I see him once a month. Last month he gave me my exercise regime (he's really very nice but I feel better making him sound mean) and I obeyed. He also explained why all my time on the treadmill hasn't paid off and didn't even flinch when I suggested it might be because of the ice cream/chocolate and not because my body is "used to walking".

In four weeks I have lost 4% body fat. Very little weight, one inch, but 4% body fat. I also confessed that I wasn't tracking my calories at all (and promised I would do so for a month). He gave me another month's worth of exercise and kicked my butt (and arms, and back, and legs...)on a stationary bike.

I'm thinking this might have been money well spent.

There's Always a Kid Who Eats Paste

I teased you guys a few weeks ago.

Behold, the gift sent to me by a very thoughtful friend:

Doesn't this bottle look urban chic? I felt the need to reorganize my pantry so as not to have this sexy little bottle standing next to the kids' Campbell's soup. This beauty will be reserved for Daring Bakers.

There is a small iota of irony. For my birthday, my in-laws gave me the following:

Which leads me to believe I may be chatting this product up a bit (and deservedly so). This one will be rationed for "normal" baking (which just might be more frequent than most peoples').

But then, while reorganizing my pantry, I discovered:

Two full bottles and two half bottles--I have been rationing this scarce commodity.

Now I see much baking in my future. And I feel no need to ration anymore. I started my morning by drizzling it on my oatmeal--still indulgent but it helped the oatmeal tremendously!

Five More Days...

...Until I can send Yummy back to school.

But who's counting?

Thinking of Girl's Names

Most of the time I receive nice presents. They are exactly what I asked for, and I am grateful for them. As a rule I do not like surprises so I am perfectly happy with this arrangement.

But once in a while, the perfect surprise happens.

And that is what my mother did this year for Christmas.

Meet the newest addition to My Sewing Room:

A dress form. An adjustable, pinable, stand alone dress form.

**swoon**

She keeps telling me her name is Vanessa or Denise. Neither of those names seems fitting (no pun intended) for my body double.

And since I know somebody will ask, she is wearing a dress I made for a friend's wedding several years ago. It's fully-lined, hand-beaded and has a matching stole. Approx size 12 if anyone needs to borrow it.

Won't You Be My...

My neighbor (the wife of the one who nearly electrocuted himself in my driveway) brought me three giant bags of boys clothing from her twins.

It was better than Santa. After all, he only has one bag.

I now have at least two years of basic clothing for Yummy, and Vicious will get the hand-me-downs. Not only does this help the budget (just think how much yarn and fabric I can buy now!) but I don't have to go shopping (for boys) for a while.

I think I'll make her some of my cinnamon rolls as a thank you.

Wouldn't it be great if all neighbors were neighborly?

Daring Bakers-December

This month's challenge is brought to us by the adventurous Hilda from Saffron and Blueberry and Marion from Il en Faut Peu Pour Etre Heureux.They have chosen a French Yule Log by Flore from Florilege Gourmand

My camera is lurking in the depths of Christmas mayhem and the pictures sucked anyway.

This has been the most futzy recipe yet, which is why I joined DB in the first place so it's all good. I had to make a daquoise cake (I am learning some great terminology with this group), a mousse filling (I chose milk chocolate), a crisp filling (I chose coconut), a ganache filling (dark choc), a creme brulee filling and a frosting (I chose white chocolate). The link to the recipe is 20 pages long but once you choose your flavors it's more like seven.

I decided to use my springform pan and ended up with not enough room for the creme brulee filling. As my springform leaks anyway, it was probably good that I didn't make a creme brulee in it. I also experimented with agar for my frosting (as opposed to the gelatin) and learned I need more practice with agar--the frosting was more like a glaze, with bits floating in it--Very nice.

Luckily, I decided not to make this for any special event (less pressure) and simply spent a Saturday puttering around the kitchen, cleaning a TON of dishes and making my challenge. It tasted really good, but it looked sloppy. When it was done, I sliced it into 16 pieces and froze them individually. I still have several left.

Overall, I was disappointed with myself. I knew my frosting was a disaster but I still poured it on and I would have learned more from making the creme brulee (which I have never done).

I look forward to seeing January's challenge. Maybe I'll have my mojo back.

Recipe here.

Merry Christmas

Holiday advice:

Vicious: Walk softly and carry a big stick.
Yummy: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Mountain Mama and the Businessman: Have a very Merry Christmas!

Hope you enjoy our card!

No Better Use For a Computer

I can think of no better reason to own a computer than to go on this site:

Where is Santa now?

Christmas Card 2007

This was another montage year. Only it was because we had so few decent pictures. The inside was so lame I won't even blog it.

You wouldn't believe how much cropping and finagling it took to get these pictures.



You will just have to wait until after Christmas to see this year's card. If you're on my list, they went out yesterday (the printer taking two weeks to ship them to us).

We had one cute picture this year (well, one that had both kids in it). I'm still thinking the inside is witty, but that may change. The businessman likes it. He also likes Cops, Hamburger Helper and Windex so I'm leary of his opinion.

Christmas Card 2006

This was the year we had several pics we loved. It was also the year we moved to Colorado.



There is an exception to the "No Adults" rule here. Those are my feet (the big ones not the small ones).

Inside it read:

After six years in Washington
Enjoying the rain, trees, and fun,
We decided to head for high country.
Included: Grandparents and sun.

So Christmas is in Colorado this year
In the city where mom and dad met.
And though we still miss the Pacific Northwest
Santa will not get as wet.

Christmas Card 2005

This was our Christmas card/birth announcement. It is my favorite picture I have ever taken.

And also the last time Yummy was nice to Vicious.

Christmas Card 2004

This was the cover of our 2004 card. Inside it read "Happy Nude Year!"

That day we took pics of Yummy running around in the sprinklers. He grabbed a daisy and I loved the way the camera focused on the flower and slightly blurred the rest of the image.

This is also why I should be setting money aside for therapy sessions when he is an adult.