Daring Bakers-February

The February 2009 challenge is hosted by Wendy of WMPE's blog and Dharm of Dad ~ Baker & Chef.We have chosen a Chocolate Valentino cake by Chef Wan; a Vanilla Ice Cream recipe from Dharm and a Vanilla Ice Cream recipe from Wendy as the challenge.


I had fun this month, even though my posting might contradict this.

I knew immediately I was going to make my Mexican Chocolate Ice Cream. So I thought I might want to try to do this cake with white chocolate. I had a potluck at my SnB and decided that would be the day to showcase my work. Alas, my "white chocolate" burned when I tried to melt it. Errg! So, a week later, I tried again. I got the White chocolate to melt, but the cake ended up looking and tasting like a really sweet omelette--Yuck!

At this point I realized the "white chocolate" I was using was actually not really white chocolate--it had no cocoa butter in it (the definition of true white chocolate). So I gave up and went extra dark bittersweet.



And it worked beautifully. Here it is getting ready to go to the SnB.

It had actually started snowing so I felt the snowflake was appropriate.

Here's my ice-cream:


I used almost 1 1/2 Tablespoons of chili powder--I even pulled out the big guns I got in Santa Fe. It was snowing and I thought it would be easier to eat icecream if it had more heat in it.

So I'm all proud of myself, bringing treats to the SnB, and giving a fond farewell to a fellow knitter who gets to live on Mount Rainier for a year, when this woman comes in--carrying a cake.

Needless to say, it's good there were lots of women there. There was a lot of chocolate. The other cake tasted much better than mine, but my ice cream was pretty stellar.

What I learned:

• read your labels
• I had never made a flourless cake before--not my favorite
• I make kick a$$ ice cream

The Art of Folding

My son found my origami books.

This should thrill me, but I have spent over 20 years collecting advanced origami books--full of models that shouldn't ever be attempted by mere mortals...

...or five year olds.

From the Halls of Montezuma...

Recently I went to the gym and started my 10 minute warm-up. Everytime I enter the gym I intend to leave with the hope that something will be sore the next day. As I was sorting out my routine in my head, I became aware of the significant number of combat boots wandering around, and fatigues. Oh dear, the Marines are here.

(Why there is a boatload (pun intended) of marines in a landlocked state still eludes me)

I had to make a choice. Do I avoid my weight training and stay on the treadmill? Do I alter my training and stick to the "girly" side of the gym? Do I just enter the fray and and crank it like I intended?

I'm proud to say I chose option C. A less recent edition of Mountain Mama would have chosen a different option but this one stuck to her plan. And while I was straining to do those assisted pull-ups subtracting 65% of my weight, one of them caught my eye and thumbs-uped me (he was doing pull-ups with weights tied to his waist...someday...). It felt great.

At my knitting group, one woman said she wanted to join a gym but she hated the idea of people ogling the "fat woman on the treadmill." Of course we all want to be in our comfort zone, but look where my comfort zone got me.

I would rather be ogled on a treadmill than in a fast food restaurant.

Show and Tell

For Show and Tell, Yummy had to create a caricature of his favorite storybook character.

Imagine my delight when this was who he chose:





If you need help, refer to numbers 75 and 76.

Burn Baby Burn

Treadmill: 10-15 miles/week
Yoga: 1-2 hours/week
Zoomba: 1 hour/week
Weight training: 2 hours/week
Sore: every f-bomb day

While whining about how little weight I've lost despite working out (hard!) almost everyday, one fellow yummy* told me I should just strive to have my clothing fit better.

I wanted to say "I don't want my clothes to fit better, I want your clothes to fit me better."

I'm about to hit a weightloss milestone. It would happen faster if the Easter m&ms weren't out.

*Yummy-What happens when a woman gives up her yuppie existance after creating one or more yuppie larvae.

Survey Says...

I'm toying with a gadget. I'll blog about the results when it closes.

Nostalgia

An old friend posted my 1st grade class picture on Facebook. It has induced a stream of funny memories. We've been been reminiscing all weekend.

So much fun!

I think you need to be my friend, and a member of Facebook to view the link. If you really want to see me in all my crooked-tooth, near-sighted glory, you'll just have to ask.

Knit Pics

"You finished seven sweaters! Where are the pictures of the other six? Why don't we get pictures?" you all ask.

Well, none of you asked, but all my sources say blogs are more "fun" with pics so here you go:

This one I started five years ago. I finished it a while back but waited months before sewing in a zipper. I thought I would wear it more often than I do, but it's sort of boxy on me. I was larger when I started it.


This one I blogged about before, hopefully while drunk. I ended up finishing this one in record time and wear it so much...


...I made another two weeks ago.



This next one is beautiful, but you will have to take my word for it since my camera doesn't like me. It's one of those sweaters that no one would ever think I made (unless you knew me) because it's so right. I wear it often...

...but it doesn't look as curvy on me as it does on Violet.

And finally, we have the third fair isle concoction (the first being here). Once I got going it went quickly. Providing I block it adequately, it fits beautifully (the shoulders are a bit tweaky--I blame the weightlifting). It's another "You made that!" sweater. When I wear a push-up bra with it the Businessman is happy and I could get a wenching gig in Bavaria.

And number six? Well, I thought Iwould have finished it by now. But Colorado being what it is, I have had no desire to work on my Dale of Norway.

99 Things About Me

I have been working on this list since I started my blog. Now that some old chums from my oast are crawling out of the woodwork, I felt the need to finish the list.

1. I have two children.
2. I have been happily married since 1999.
3.I was born in Edina, Minnesota.
4.I moved to Evergreen, Colorado when I was four.
5.I lived in that house in Evergreen until college. My parents still live there.
6.I have had seven addresses--three of them houses we've owned--in the past 10 years.
7.I hate moving.
8.I was two and a half when I learned to read.
9.In 3rd grade, a teacher told me that boys were better at math. This bothered me. A lot.
10.In 6th grade, the school district created an accelerated math curriculum for me (though other students were invited to participate).
11.No seriously, I had three teachers tell me this--when I never did my homework (but aced all the tests).
12.I have a degree in Biology.
13.I tested out of all the math I needed for this degree.
14.I love math. I should have chosen a major involving math.
15.I love being creative. I should have majored in art.
16.I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
17.I met my husband my first week of college. He was the first straight guy I met.
18.I was so freaked out about meeting Mr Right when I was 18, I refused to marry him until we had been out of college for at least a year.
19.I graduated from high school with almost all of the people in my kindergarten picture. (Need to verify numbers)
20. I use my middle name
21.My first name, Marianne, has been passed down to the first daughter for at least four generations.
22.When I was pregnant with my second son, my pregnancy-induced insanity tried to convince my husband to name him "Ariann." I was soundly vetoed by both him and my (German) mother.
23.I broke the chain and only have sons. I will insist their wives sign a prenup stating they will name the first granddaughter Marianne.
24.This means my future daughter-in-laws will hate me--better them than my ancestors.
25.I have a complete and utter terror of snakes. I must withhold this information from any future DILs.
26.I also have a fear of worms and anything else that doesn't have appendages.
27.If a furry snake were discovered, I would not be scared of it.
28.Toilet paper should come over the roll, not under. I have switched the rolls at other peoples' homes.
29.I don't get invited to many homes.
30.I am a vegetarian. I eat no land animals and very rarely fish. Gradually I will become vegan.
31. I love cheese.
32.Before becoming a vegetarian, I was willing to try anything once. I still am, but I would draw the line at animal flesh. I don't know if I would eat meat in a Million Dollar situation.
33.I'm not likely to be offered a million dollars to eat meat.
34.Mayonaise is gross. It creeps me out and I have never liked it.
35.The best deviled eggs in the world are made by my aunt-in-law. The only thing she puts in them is mayo. When I learned this I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.
36.I dated one of the writers of South Park. Nothing serious.
37.My appendix ruptured when I was 12.
38.Two weeks after my appendix ruptured, I got a spectacular case of chicken pox.
39.I have been to Hawaii three times. I'm willing to make it four.
40.Most of the time, I would rather do something myself than pay someone else to do it. This includes housecleaning, home repairs and haircuts.
41.I always choose scissors in scissors paper rock.
42.Unless you know that. Then I choose paper.
43.I like headgames.
44.I refuse to keep dull scissors in my home. Either they are trashed or sharpened.
45.It bothers me when people won't throw away pens that don't work.
46.I hate the feel of writing on newspaper in pencil, this is why I do crossword puzzles in pen.
47.I don't like Crayola's "Cornflower" color. It feels like writing with a birthday candle.
48.I don't eat blue m&ms. Or any blue food for that matter. (Blueberries are cloudy purple).
49.I love chocolate, but don't like chocolate ice-cream.
50.Unless it is my homemade Mexican Chocolate ice-cream.
51.Chocolate in or on my ice-cream is fair game.
52.I rarely wear socks unless I'm working out. Even in Winter.
53.Though I'm American, my ancestry is 100% German. People who work in Scottish apparel shops refuse to believe this. They insist that somewhere in my gutteral nomenclature is a good Scottsh Tartan. Apparently I can't just choose a pretty one.
54.I love men in kilts.
55.I love babies in overalls.
56.I have never been to Europe, but would move there in a heartbeat if a realistic opportunity presented itself.
57.I have used only 275 cell phone minutes in the past year.
58.I used to work for T-Mobile.
59.My favorite color is green.
60.And blue.
61.I do not like red roses.
62.I have a bad sense of smell. I think it's from several bad allergy attacks when I was younger.
63.I knit. I knit fearlessly. There are few patterns that scare me.
64.I sew. Not as much as I knit, but just as fearlessly.
65.My fearlessness has resulted in millions of UFOs.
66.I have never watched American Idol.
67.I am glued to the TV during the Olympics.
68.I would be perfectly happy if I had no television.
69.Sometimes I think technology is bad.
70.I love my iPod, my high-speed internet, and my Wii.
71.Someday I will inherit land in North Dakota. (Hopefully later than sooner)
72.Though I have been known to bake the futziest of recipes, I buy premade piecrust.
73.After Book 3, I wanted to adopt Harry Potter.
74.I had a crush on Merlin (as in King Arthur's magician) in High School.
75.I also had a crush on Waldo. Almost every guy I dated resembled Waldo in some way.
76.The first time I met my husband, he told me he was once Waldo for Halloween--without knowledge of number 75.
77.I worry about the environment.
78.I worry about our society.
79.I'm not convinced we are creating a better world.
80.I do feel if we all put in a little more effort, this world would be a better place.
81.I have never purchased margarine.
82.Or non-stick spray.
83.The last time I drank an entire soda, I was in eighth grade.
84.Unless you count rootbeer floats, love those!
85.I dogear books rather than use a bookmark.
86.I read in the bath tub.
87.I fall asleep reading in bed. My husband often ends up removing my book before he falls asleep.
88.When someone loans me a book, I try not to do 85-87.
89.I would rather be in my home, creating, than exploring.
90.Alas, exploring leads to inspiration.
91.Inspiration leads to creativity.
92.Repeat 89-91 to find my inner turmoil.
93.My work ethic is good, but I would be perfectly happy if I didn't have to work (for money) ever again.
94.Dessert island: iPod, survival guide, boat.
95.I might trade the boat for a helicopter.
96.I love some alternative music, I hate other alternative music.
97.I listen to country music in the car because I like it (and because I have no CD player). The alternative radio station is too bipolar for driving (see 96.)
98.If you've come this far, I am genuinely shocked to see you here.
99.I think Americans waste too much of their lives on the computer.

Here Be Monsters

Around here, we had a couple days off school. It was cold and windy and basically felt like a new form of torture the school district implemented on the parents.

So I schlepped my brood to the craft store and we made art for the playroom. I was inspired by a "picture" Vicious made when he had a page of sticky eyeballs and a sheet of paper. I loved the effect so much I wanted a (more) permanent version:

"Googlops"

(Yes I cut his hair. Yes I regret it. Yes I think he looks like the offspring of the National Socialist regime. Hair grows.)

And speaking of hair. We decided we needed a hairy monster. I asked Yummy to close his eyes and picture the craziest, hairiest monster he could. What color is he?

Rainbow of course!

"Fluffy"
I cut. Yummy glued. I had no idea cutting monster hair would be such a chore!

I still have enough supplies for "Slime" and "Scales"

What? Where do you go for your wall art?

March Madness Isn't a Sale in a Garden Catalog?

Last week after my workout the I found the businessman shooting hoops. He asked me to join him so he could get practice with his rebounding.

It took about 10 minutes to realize this meant my suckiness was what he wanted, having only made about five baskets and seeing him get almost all my rebounds.

Next time he asks me, I don't know whether to be honored or offended.

Phrases I use far too often around here:

Because I told you too. (Relative of "Because I said so" which I would never say)
Did anyone feed the cat? Then why is he biting my ankles?
Where's the cat?
Stop hitting your brother.
You cannot throw golfballs in the house.
Do you think screaming is a good way to ask for help?
Because I'm mean.
Life isn't fair.

And my favorite:
Keep your underpants on. (Literally)

Airing of the Stash

There are numerous knitting Icons who encourage a yearly "Airing of the Stash" though I think the actual term comes from Cast On's Brenda Dayne.

This year, it wasn't hard: thanks to the work I did this Summer on My Sewing Room most of my yarn is sitting tidily in it's corner. The tricky part was finding the hidden caches, like the basket on a shelf in a cabinet behind another shelf (thank goodness for castors) or the wonderful totebasket for the living room to hold only my current project that multiplied exponentially and filled up the bookshelves.

I keep my stash in Excel so I can wrangle a funky equation that theorhetically tells me how much yarn I can buy (one skein for every two used) but really tells me I have bought far more then I should have (It was a silly resolution anyway) because I'm a nerd.

I was logging my yarn and I noticed a few differences between last year and this year:

• I bought less yarn
• No wait, I bought fewer different yarns. This means instead of one beautiful skein that I could make a ??? with (And I don't need any more of those) I would buy a sweaters' worth of yarn. So more skeins, but fewer rows in Excel.
• I have finished seven sweaters since August. Four of them were started in the past seven months. While this consumes yarn, it leads me into a false feeling of stash reduction.
• I still have an embarrassing amount of yarn. The only thing protecting my head from exploding at the quantity is the knowledge that it couldn't fill a moving box (and I have heard of people who have boxes (plural!!!) of sock yarn alone.
• It takes a depressingly long time to knit up a 450 yard skein of sock yarn.
• With all my fair isle sweaters (I've made three now) I have 50 partial skeins of Knit Picks Pallette (why does a pattern say it uses 750 yds of a color when it only used 422?)which is probably enough to make three more sweaters or six more vests. However, I will stab those 2.5 mm needles through my nostrils and out my ears before I cast on for another fair isle project.

So, not being in the habit of self voodoolation, I'm taking those fifty skeins into my SnB tomorrow and I will try to pawn them off on anyone who wants them.

Half of 50 is 25. I could buy 25 new skeins...

Blog Blahs

Life is at a state of steady busy-ness: I have been very busy with the usual life stuff, but nothing of interest has happened.

This makes for slow blogging.

So, you can either hope for a microdisaster in my life so that you may be entertained, or you can get off the computer and wreak havoc in your own life.

Your choice.

Role Models

While folding laundry:

Vish: What's this?
Me: This? It's a bra. It's an undershirt girls wear when they grow up.
Vish: What's Dat?
Me: What?
Vish: Dat?
Me: What's dat?
Vish: Um, the boy who lives with us and drinks coffee.

*pause to hide giggling*

Me: You mean Dad?
Vish: Yeah, Dat!

At Least I think it's Cool

I popped into Crow yesterday in my yoga class.

Does anyone other than me find that impressive?

Mountain Dew, Fritos, and Ergonomic Peripherals

Okay, this next sentence is going to make you all know how much of a nerd I really am:

So I was listening to my math podcast...

*sigh*

...last December and they had some gift suggestions for math geeks. One of the suggestions was a computer game called DROD.

Normally I avoid computer games. Not because I'm against them, but because they have a potential for huge time-suck (which is also why I try not to linger on Facebook either, but I digress). However, my math podcast hyped it so I thought I'd try the demo.

I have found the need to limit myself to one dungeon room a day. There is just this huge satisfaction of swinging my sword at a cockroach (and hearing that popping noise) that has rendered me addicted. The game is intriguingly simple, but so darned challenging. I keep meeting new enemies, like tar and evil eyes, and I have to figure out the puzzles that will let me escape.

On occasion I get very stuck so I meander to the message boards for hints (not solutions) and I enter geekdom. These people speak languages I can't hope to understand, with words like "Data/Bitmaps directory" and "dynamically loads a .tim file." I am so swimming in deep, deep water here.

I wonder if any of them can fix my router?

Daring Bakers-January

This month's challenge is brought to us by Karen of Bake My Day and Zorra of 1x umruehren bitte aka Kochtopf. They have chosen Tuiles from The Chocolate Book by Angélique Schmeink and Nougatine and Chocolate Tuiles from Michel Roux.

So my mind ran off with itself regarding this challenge. I had visions of making these tuiles and shaping them into curlicues and spirals and then using them to decorate The Businessman's birthday cake.

I was humbled. I think I spent too much time imagining the finale and didn't pay full attention to the execution.

The batter came together nicely. I refrigerated it for a few hours and then rushed to make them. I tried to pipe long lines of dough which I thought I could wrap around wooden spoon handles for the curlicues. I baked them about 6 minutes and tried to lift one up to form it while still warm. It was a little underdone, I think, and stuck to the parchment. I tried to drape the parchment over a rolling pin and the sticks cracked on me:

My kids thought they were edible.

Then I tried the stencil thing. I pulled a sheet of plastic stencils that are meant to be used for scrapbooking--there were images of palm trees, starfish, clouds, etc. This was the smartest thing I had done thus far. The stencils came out of the oven beautifully. I let them cool flat. Unfortunately, the palm tree was a little underdone and broke when I tried to lift it.

Above: Beach shapes and blobs.

At this point, I was trying to make dinner, separate fighting kids, and clean the kitchen and the charm of tuiles had worn off. The cookies were inhaled quickly and all evidence destroyed.

What I learned:

• Stop thinking grand until I've had practice
• Try again later--perhaps Valentine's Day
• Refocus my DB efforts and remember this is supposed to be fun!
  

Following is a recipe taken from a book called “The Chocolate Book”, written by female Dutch Master chef Angélique Schmeinck.

Recipe:Yields: 20 small butterflies/6 large (butterflies are just an example)

Preparation time batter 10 minutes, waiting time 30 minutes, baking time: 5-10 minutes per batch

65 grams / ¼ cup / 2.3 ounces softened butter (not melted but soft)

60 grams / ½ cup / 2.1 ounces sifted confectioner’s sugar

1 sachet vanilla sugar (7 grams or substitute with a dash of vanilla extract)

2 large egg whites (slightly whisked with a fork)

65 grams / 1/2 cup / 2.3 ounces sifted all purpose flour

1 table spoon cocoa powder/or food coloring of choice

Butter/spray to grease baking sheet

Oven: 180C / 350F

Using a hand whisk or a stand mixer fitted with the paddle (low speed) and cream butter, sugar and vanilla to a paste. Keep stirring while you gradually add the egg whites. Continue to add the flour in small batches and stir to achieve a homogeneous and smooth batter/paste. Be careful to not overmix.Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and chill in the fridge for at least 30 minutes to firm up. (This batter will keep in the fridge for up to a week, take it out 30 minutes before you plan to use it).

Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or grease with either butter/spray and chill in the fridge for at least 15 minutes. This will help spread the batter more easily if using a stencil/cardboard template such as the butterfly. Press the stencil on the bakingsheet and use an off sided spatula to spread batter. Leave some room in between your shapes. Mix a small part of the batter with the cocoa and a few drops of warm water until evenly colored. Use this colored batter in a paper piping bag and proceed to pipe decorations on the wings and body of the butterfly.Bake butterflies in a preheated oven (180C/350F) for about 5-10 minutes or until the edges turn golden brown. Immediately release from bakingsheet and proceed to shape/bend the cookies in the desired shape. These cookies have to be shaped when still warm, you might want to bake a small amount at a time or maybe put them in the oven to warm them up again. (Haven’t tried that). Or: place a bakingsheet toward the front of the warm oven, leaving the door half open. The warmth will keep the cookies malleable.If you don’t want to do stencil shapes, you might want to transfer the batter into a piping bag fitted with a small plain tip. Pipe the desired shapes and bake. Shape immediately after baking using for instance a rolling pin, a broom handle, cups, cones….

Deductions

I got Deduction Pro as a free add-on last year when I filed my taxes. I highly recommend it--providing you itemize your deductions. Especially with kids who grow out of clothes on a weekly basis.

I just went through the growing pile of outgrown clothing I stash in a corner of my office. I brought up a trashbag and carefully itemized everything I stuffed in it.

One trash bag of clothing ended up being about $250.00. I would have guessed its value to be $50.00. Had I bought this software, it would have paid for itself with the first trash bag.

I feel like I'm cheating--I'm not (big brother if you're watching) but I feel like it.

Confession

I hired a personal trainer.

I avoid hiring people to do jobs that I think I should be able to do. This includes housecleaning, haircutting and until now, personal training.

But I have been on my own for years now and I just haven't made it work. My gym was running a deal and I hired one. I see him once a month. Last month he gave me my exercise regime (he's really very nice but I feel better making him sound mean) and I obeyed. He also explained why all my time on the treadmill hasn't paid off and didn't even flinch when I suggested it might be because of the ice cream/chocolate and not because my body is "used to walking".

In four weeks I have lost 4% body fat. Very little weight, one inch, but 4% body fat. I also confessed that I wasn't tracking my calories at all (and promised I would do so for a month). He gave me another month's worth of exercise and kicked my butt (and arms, and back, and legs...)on a stationary bike.

I'm thinking this might have been money well spent.

There's Always a Kid Who Eats Paste

I teased you guys a few weeks ago.

Behold, the gift sent to me by a very thoughtful friend:

Doesn't this bottle look urban chic? I felt the need to reorganize my pantry so as not to have this sexy little bottle standing next to the kids' Campbell's soup. This beauty will be reserved for Daring Bakers.

There is a small iota of irony. For my birthday, my in-laws gave me the following:

Which leads me to believe I may be chatting this product up a bit (and deservedly so). This one will be rationed for "normal" baking (which just might be more frequent than most peoples').

But then, while reorganizing my pantry, I discovered:

Two full bottles and two half bottles--I have been rationing this scarce commodity.

Now I see much baking in my future. And I feel no need to ration anymore. I started my morning by drizzling it on my oatmeal--still indulgent but it helped the oatmeal tremendously!

Five More Days...

...Until I can send Yummy back to school.

But who's counting?

Thinking of Girl's Names

Most of the time I receive nice presents. They are exactly what I asked for, and I am grateful for them. As a rule I do not like surprises so I am perfectly happy with this arrangement.

But once in a while, the perfect surprise happens.

And that is what my mother did this year for Christmas.

Meet the newest addition to My Sewing Room:

A dress form. An adjustable, pinable, stand alone dress form.

**swoon**

She keeps telling me her name is Vanessa or Denise. Neither of those names seems fitting (no pun intended) for my body double.

And since I know somebody will ask, she is wearing a dress I made for a friend's wedding several years ago. It's fully-lined, hand-beaded and has a matching stole. Approx size 12 if anyone needs to borrow it.

Won't You Be My...

My neighbor (the wife of the one who nearly electrocuted himself in my driveway) brought me three giant bags of boys clothing from her twins.

It was better than Santa. After all, he only has one bag.

I now have at least two years of basic clothing for Yummy, and Vicious will get the hand-me-downs. Not only does this help the budget (just think how much yarn and fabric I can buy now!) but I don't have to go shopping (for boys) for a while.

I think I'll make her some of my cinnamon rolls as a thank you.

Wouldn't it be great if all neighbors were neighborly?

Daring Bakers-December

This month's challenge is brought to us by the adventurous Hilda from Saffron and Blueberry and Marion from Il en Faut Peu Pour Etre Heureux.They have chosen a French Yule Log by Flore from Florilege Gourmand

My camera is lurking in the depths of Christmas mayhem and the pictures sucked anyway.

This has been the most futzy recipe yet, which is why I joined DB in the first place so it's all good. I had to make a daquoise cake (I am learning some great terminology with this group), a mousse filling (I chose milk chocolate), a crisp filling (I chose coconut), a ganache filling (dark choc), a creme brulee filling and a frosting (I chose white chocolate). The link to the recipe is 20 pages long but once you choose your flavors it's more like seven.

I decided to use my springform pan and ended up with not enough room for the creme brulee filling. As my springform leaks anyway, it was probably good that I didn't make a creme brulee in it. I also experimented with agar for my frosting (as opposed to the gelatin) and learned I need more practice with agar--the frosting was more like a glaze, with bits floating in it--Very nice.

Luckily, I decided not to make this for any special event (less pressure) and simply spent a Saturday puttering around the kitchen, cleaning a TON of dishes and making my challenge. It tasted really good, but it looked sloppy. When it was done, I sliced it into 16 pieces and froze them individually. I still have several left.

Overall, I was disappointed with myself. I knew my frosting was a disaster but I still poured it on and I would have learned more from making the creme brulee (which I have never done).

I look forward to seeing January's challenge. Maybe I'll have my mojo back.

Recipe here.

Merry Christmas

Holiday advice:

Vicious: Walk softly and carry a big stick.
Yummy: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Mountain Mama and the Businessman: Have a very Merry Christmas!

Hope you enjoy our card!

No Better Use For a Computer

I can think of no better reason to own a computer than to go on this site:

Where is Santa now?

Christmas Card 2007

This was another montage year. Only it was because we had so few decent pictures. The inside was so lame I won't even blog it.

You wouldn't believe how much cropping and finagling it took to get these pictures.



You will just have to wait until after Christmas to see this year's card. If you're on my list, they went out yesterday (the printer taking two weeks to ship them to us).

We had one cute picture this year (well, one that had both kids in it). I'm still thinking the inside is witty, but that may change. The businessman likes it. He also likes Cops, Hamburger Helper and Windex so I'm leary of his opinion.

Christmas Card 2006

This was the year we had several pics we loved. It was also the year we moved to Colorado.



There is an exception to the "No Adults" rule here. Those are my feet (the big ones not the small ones).

Inside it read:

After six years in Washington
Enjoying the rain, trees, and fun,
We decided to head for high country.
Included: Grandparents and sun.

So Christmas is in Colorado this year
In the city where mom and dad met.
And though we still miss the Pacific Northwest
Santa will not get as wet.

Christmas Card 2005

This was our Christmas card/birth announcement. It is my favorite picture I have ever taken.

And also the last time Yummy was nice to Vicious.

Christmas Card 2004

This was the cover of our 2004 card. Inside it read "Happy Nude Year!"

That day we took pics of Yummy running around in the sprinklers. He grabbed a daisy and I loved the way the camera focused on the flower and slightly blurred the rest of the image.

This is also why I should be setting money aside for therapy sessions when he is an adult.

The Christmas Card-2003

I love our Christmas cards. Every year, we go through our limited supply of pictures and chose the best to grace our card. I spend long hours thinking of something witty to write on the inside (and then come up with it after I place the order) and then we go to Starbucks and address, stamp and mail them out.







Love the pixilation. This is our first card. For Halloween that year we themed out and presented ourselves as an all American family. Little Yummy Bear (now age 5) is a bald eagle sucking his thumb. The others are self explanatory. Inside was the smarmy poem:

It started as a costume
Of feathers, felt and glue.
Now Liberty and Freedom
And Uncle Sam want you
To share the holiday spirit
as the year turns new,
And have a Merry Christmas
From the three of us to you.

Every Halloween my MIL offers to take our pic for the card. This is the only time we used a Halloween picture, and the only time adults appear on the card.

Update

$600.00

That's the cost of my car repairs.

Merry Christmas to me.

Carbon Monoxide or Hypothermia?

Businessman: Hello?
Me: Hey, when you drove the car this morning, did it smell like gasoline?
B: Uh, no.
Me: Hmm, maybe it's the car I'm driving behind.

This conversation happened while I was driving thirty miles away to a kid's birthday party. While on the interstate, the smell dissipated.

When the party was over, someone offered to start my car for me to warm it up. Five minutes later, I got in the car and almost gagged on the fumes. A quick check outside showed exhaust coming out of the tail pipe, so I didn't think it was clogged. However, every time I stopped at a light I was inundated with fumes. I called the Businessman and explained the situation. His suggestion:

"Promise me you'll crack the windows."

Of course this sounds ridiculously smart, except for one problem: the temperature outside was -5 degrees. Not a typo.

When I got our slightly blue children home (blue from cold, I assume, and not asphyxiation) he noted that my car made the garage smell like gas.

So, guess who gets to drive my car this week?

Membership

I joined a gym this week.

Yesterday I was trying to get Vicious dressed so we could go to the gym while 5yo was in school. He started crying because he wanted to go to the gym too.

So I went twice.

I wonder how long the kids will enjoy the play area.

Don't Kill the Cat

I received a sly little present in the mail today. From a devoted reader.

You're all curious aren't you? All three of you.

You'll just have to wait until I have a chance to try out my new. . .item. I live with people who are not worthy of such largess but I may indulge myself a little.

Zap

My neighbor got a new toy last year, a snowblower, and didn't get to use it. We got snow last week and I smiled to myself when I heard his toy start up. Gradually the noise got louder and louder and then there was a horrible grinding noise and the snowblower stopped. Ten seconds later there was a knock on my door.

"I was blowing your driveway and I ran over your extension cord (for the Christmas lights). Could you unplug it for me?"

!!! I rushed into the garage, unplugged the cord and then ran out to assess the damage. The cord managed to get wound around the barrel three times and was frayed in a couple places. He tugged and untangled but couldn't free it.

Enter Super-Homemaker. This operation was very similar to extracting yarn from a vacuum. I did it with finesse and a flourish.

And I am thankful the man didn't electrocute himself in my driveway.

How nice it is to have a neighbor who'll do nice things though.

Revolting

I brushed my teeth with baking soda today.

I tried to multitask last night and search for my iPod downstairs while brushing my teeth with my toothbrush. It automatically shuts off after two and a half minutes which seems an eternity unless I'm multitasking. I eventually found my iPod and brought it upstairs but left the toothbrush downstairs.

This morning, while doing my usual control-the-chaos-of-getting-the-kid-ready-for-school, I realized my toothbrush was downstairs, but my toothpaste was upstairs. In a pinch, I used baking soda. I should have climbed the stairs. Not only do my teeth not feel clean, but I almost tossed my cookies in the kitchen sink. Lovely.

Toothbrush is back in his home. Baking soda is back among my cleaning supplies.

We (baking soda and I) will never speak of this again.

Now It's Just Redundant

I saw yet another lady from my old colorguard today. That makes four in the past two months.

Since fate is filling in the holes with very little effort from me, I'll make a wishlist of missing links I'd like to find:

The one from Illinois who graduated a year before me
My co-caption
The red-headed guard instructor
My waistline

Well, that last one will probably need a LOT of effort from me.

The Economy

I know someone facing possible foreclosure. In fact, among the five of us that were offering moral support, we knew four families facing this problem.

One lady asked: Why can't the government just insist that the banks stop raising the ARM rates?

I usually ponder questions like this and try to see the other side and this time I can't.

Why do the banks have to raise interest rates on ARMS right now? Wouldn't it be better for them to still receive a smaller mortgage payment than a foreclosed home?

It wouldn't solve our economy, but it would help out thousands of families. That can't be bad.

Or am I ignorant of something?

He's Back!

My 5yo has been strangely charming. He's generous with unsolicited "I love you"s. He's doing all his chores and some of mine. On rare occasions, he's nice to his brother.

Which led me to realize...

The original Big Brother is back.

Parents everywhere who spend a big chunk of the year using every discipline in the book and inventing some that aren't now have their work made easy:

Santa is watching.

In the time it takes a two year old to climb on top of the refrigerator; in the time it takes a three year old to lock his parents out of the house so he can eat all the yogurt; in the time it takes a four year old pretending to be a cat to try using the kitty's potty (all of the above are true stories, though not all mine, and all happened in a ridiculously short amount of time); those three words practically guarantee good behavior.

Santa is watching. Let the holidays begin.

Potsticker Salad

My family loves potstickers. Rarely I make them from scratch, more often I buy a bag of them frozen and pull out as needed.

They can be high on calories though, especially since I could eat about 15 in one sitting.

So I went to workout with the Businessman (his gym is giving free guest passes until January) and I was starving, but I didn't want to betray all my efforts of the previous hour. We both agreed this salad should be in the permanent rotation. It is ridiculously easy.

Dipping sauce/Dressing:
Equal amounts soysauce and rice vinegar
Chili oil to taste.

Salad:
One bag of Broccoslaw
Potstickers, cooked your favorite way (see directions on bag)

Steam the broccoslaw in the microwave about four minutes until tender. Decide whether to cut your potstickers into bite size chunks or leave them whole. Toss them, the slaw and some dressing together.

You could also add shredded carrots, tofu, water chestnuts, whatever. The idea here is to make a salad out of a potsticker filling.

If you don't have potstickers on hand you could also cook some pasta (rotini comes to mind) and fry it in a little oil until it's crunchy and toss that in. I would add more fixins to the salad though, so it really was more like potsticker filling.

A Little Love to a Soldier

I mentioned before that I have a friend in Iraq. I can't imagine being in her shoes. She has two small children and is several thousand miles away from her family. We decided we wanted to help make her Christmas special.

She requested some "pretty slippers" to hang out in. With soles. I made her some.


She's also a quilter so I found some pretty fabric (at least I thought it was pretty) as well as some special fabric that you can print on. I don't know if she has access to a printer, but if she does she can print some pics of her kids and make a quilt around them.

I also included a quilting magazine, a puzzle magazine, some biscotti (thanks for the suggestion), some taffy (a rememberance from visiting her when she had a massive pregnancy craving), and hope that she'll be home soon.

I mailed it and have since learned that she might have liked coffee. I didn't know her coffee capabilties at the time or I would have hooked her up.

Maybe I'll send another package in a couple months.

The Vish

My 2yo becomes a 3yo today. He is headstrong, adventurous and daring--all traits that can be traced directly back to the Businessman. He has a mop of curly blond hair and a darling Germanic face--attributes from me I suppose. (Yes I know I have brown hair, but just look at my baby pictures.) He is into anything extreme: Hockey, skateboarding, BMX, flight and skydiving. He asked to go skiing for Christmas, well, skijumping but we'll start with skiing.

For his birthday we got him a helmet.

I love you Vicious. Happy Birthday!

Daring bakers-November

This month's challenge involved a lot of suger. I meant to make it. I really did. It was a Caramel Cake by Shuna Fish Lydon. The hostesses of this month's challenge were http://culinarycuriosity.blogspot.com/, http://blondieandbrownie.blogspot.com/, and http://forayintofood.blogspot.com/. There was an optional recipe for vanilla caramels.

Caramel Cake with Caramelized Butter Frosting courtesy of Shuna Fish Lydon (http://eggbeater.typepad.com/), as published on Bay Area Bites (http://blogs.kqed.org/bayareabites/).

Golden Vanilla Bean Caramels from Pure Dessert by Alice Medrich, Artisan Press, Copyright 2007, ISBN: 978-1579652111

This month's rules entail that I must cite my sources. I always try to do this anyway but this month they have a program that will scan all our blogs and make sure we complied.

So anyway, I didn't make the cake. I had lots of other baking going on and I didn't want to risk having to bake numerous times because of my altitude adjustments. Also, judging by the way I polished off my caramels, the last thing I needed in my house was an entire cake.

But I did make the caramels.

There are altitude adjustments to be made with candy as well. But they are far more obvious:

Water boils at 212 degrees at sea level. Here it boils at 185 degrees (according to my thermometer, which is what I'm calibrating). That's a difference of 27 degrees. I simply have to adjust all the candy temps by 27 degrees. There may be other adjustments, but this simple math worked for this recipe. I calibrate this everytime I make candy.

A few years ago I bought a marble tile at Home Depot. I don't remember the cost, maybe $5.00, but check out the price of marble slabs in a kitchen store and you'll see my brilliance. Marble helps disperse the uber-heat of candy. For this recipe I simply placed my baking dish on the slab. When the caramel was set, I pulled it out of the pan and slapped on the marble and started cutting.

It was yummy! A little too hard for me--I felt like I might pull out a filling at any time, but that did not stop us from eating it (probably because no one else in my family has fillings!).

hard Work Does Pay Off

I have a friend who can draw. Actually I have a few friends who can draw, but this one is recently published.

People who can draw amaze me. I can whip up a sketch a toddler can recognize, and I'm decent at pictionary (although there was that time that I got "glue" and drew a bottle of Elmer's complete with thier bull logo and rocket shaped, ridged cap and no one on my team believed that Elmer's had a bull in thier logo) but I cannot draw the way some of my friends can. I cannot even imagine how they do some of the things they do.

Back to my friend. When we were in college she wanted to illustrate children's books. That was one of her big dreams.

Her dream came true.

I'm so happy for her.

Am I being Irrational?

My mom gave me some birthday money which I decided to put toward a Wii game I had been eyeing. The game Sucks. With a capital S.

So I composed the following emails:

To Target:
I can respect a return policy. For the most part, I understand why certain policies exist. However, in an effort to prevent dishonesty, you are hurting honest people.

I purchased a Wii video game earlier this week. After playing it once, I hated it. The quality of the game was awful and I regretted buying it. So I tried to return or exchange it for a different game. Alas, your policy doesn't allow this.

I know why you have this policy. But returning this game is the only way I, as a consumer, can tell the mfr their game is awful. If I had purchased a toy, and it fell apart immediately, I could return it. If I bought clothing and the seams ripped the first time I wore it, I could return it. If I bought an appliance that didn't quite fit my lifestyle, I could return it. But I can't return this game.

There should be a way that I, as an honest consumer, can get my money back, or at least exchange it for a game made by a more reputable mfr.

Target recommended I contact the manufacturer:

I recently got the Wii Fit and shortly afterward, decided to research what sort of games are out there for this platform. I found your game and decided it was exactly what I was looking for.

I am dissappointed. The game quality is poor. The interaction between the Wii controller and the game is inconsistant. And the unlockable fitness tips are unoriginal. After playing the game once, I was afraid my copy was broken. After playing twice, and searching product reviews, I concluded I can't blame myself for this one.

What really irks me is that there seems to be no way to get my money back. When I tried to return or exchange at Target, I was reminded of their store policy, and they suggested I contact you. You will probably ignore my email, and enjoy the money I gave you.

The problem of course, is that the dishonest people out there have made it impossible for the honest among us to tell you how poorly designed this game is.

Your bottom line is not affected by my opinion. As a consumer, I want to speak with my dollars. I want my money back.

I could probably get my money back by taking bets on if they'll give me my money back.

Let's Hear It For the Boys

The boys in my family are playing with a whoopie cushion.

Businessman: You know, there is a real irony about the whoopie cushion.
Me: Oh?
B: Yeah, you blow it up, put it under someone's butt, then blow it up again. It's like you're constantly kissing someone's butt.
Me: No, it's like you are kissing someone's butt. I don't get near that thing.

Query: How is that ironic?

Never Thought of it That Way

Last Spring, a speaker at a women's group I go to talked to us about making our own natural cleaning products. I have been making my own cleansers ever since.

She came back this Fall and gave another great presentation.

On the heels of this, we all got the stomach flu. The Businessman came home with Lysol and Windex because he wanted to "do a good cleaning." After my 10 seconds of deep breathing so I wouldn't bite his head off, I quoted our speaker:

"If it's flammable and/or toxic, it should not be used in your kitchen."

Good point.

The Nastiness that is Motherhood

***Warning: this post contains subject matter not appropriate for anyone who has a sensitive stomach.

I was bundling my kids up to take 5yo to the bus stop. While trying to stuff 3yo into his jacket he kept squirming. Once he was bundled up, I gave him a big hug.

Me: I love hugging you when you're snuggly. I could just gobble you up!
3yo: Mom! Don't eat me!
5yo: She won't eat you, she doesn't eat blood.
Me: (Assuming this was a reference to vegetarianism) Do you eat blood?
5yo: Yes, in some of my boogers.

Yet this is the same kid who won't eat half of my cooking.

This is Why I Don't Knit for Boys

I sat down to hash out Christmas gifts in October. Imagine my delight to find I didn't need to do anymore knitting! Now it's mid/late November and I have the following (self-inflicted) obligations:

A helmet liner for an anonymous soldier
Felted clogs for a soldier I know
As many felted clogs as possible for an auction

I find myself knitting as quickly as possible, carrying it to the bus stop, sticking it in the car just in case I have to stop for a train...

And to top it all off, my 5yo lost the skull and crossbone hat I made him this fall.

He wore it twice.

I have a friend who recently blogged about the recession and concluded that we will be fine. Which, for the most part is true. In fact (and please don't send me hate mail) I think our society of consumerism could use a good recession to teach us to buy less. I also wasn't convinced high gas prices were a bad thing because it taught us habits we should have had all along but I digress.

Where I was a little irked, was her telling us that we just need to cut back on the Jimmy Choos and we will be fine.

I thought about this last night at a thrift store. I found a pair of Calvin Klein cords that fit me beautifully. Finding pants that fit me is always noteworthy. I looked at the pricetag and cringed: $14.99. I know how great a deal this actually is (I'm wearing the pants now), but I haven't spent more than $10.00 on pants for two years. My family has spent less than $500.00 on clothing this year (I used financial software to look it up). That's one pair of Jimmy Choos.

I'm fortunate in that I can live within my means (with difficulty but I can).

What about the people who are stretching to spend $15 on pants that fit? What will they do during a recession?

It's About the Journey

I got the Wii Fit for my birthday. I love it, but it is definately something that would go under the I do not need this and I would never buy it for myself category. I have been slightly sore for the past two weeks. It's always different muscles, but something is always sore.

Between Wii Yoga, cutting back dairy, walking more and knitting less, I have lost...

...one pound. And if one more person tells me "muscle weighs more than fat"...well...just don't be that person.

I have also noticed that my calf muscles are more defined, my thigh and glute muscles are stronger, and my bra cups are too big.

Because the whole point of being healthy is to have smaller boobs and a bigger a$$.

For a Soldier

I have a friend in Iraq. I want to send her a care package. She has closer friends and family who can take care of the necessities and her major wants, but I want to give some clever little things.

She quilts. She has two small children.

Any ideas?

Tis the Season

There is a theory that cats bring you their prey not to get praise, but to teach you, the unequipped kitten, how to hunt for yourself.

After losing his prey yesterday. The Businessman and I had to take things into our own hands. By then, the mouse was inside the bedside table--a sturdy piece of furniture. After removing all the drawers and accidently pinching the cat's tail, we scooped up the mouse and tossed him into the night.

Thank you Kitty. We know how to hunt now.

He caught another mouse this morning. He decided to eat the thing this time, to the joy of my sons.

5yo: Look, Clive ate his head. Mom! Clive is eating the mouse's head!
2yo: Where did Clive get the mouse?
5yo: Probably from the basement
2yo: No, probably the mouse store.

Query-Why does the cat insist on dragging the poor thing up two stories to enjoy his repast.

Hello Mama? This is Fate.

Two weeks ago, one of my friends from colorguard got in contact with me.

Last week, another one found me.

Today I saw another one at the store.

The universe is clearly talking to me. But what is it saying?

Not a Good Sign

My cat is still awake and glassy eyed. Either this was a catnip-studded mouse, or he still hasn't found it yet.

A Mouse in the House

So as I'm writing my last blog entry, the heat kicks on and I hear a weird squeaking. Odd...the heat doesn't usually sound like that.

Fearing the worst, I finish and stand up to discover my cat has caught another mouse.

Good Kitty! Good Kitty! Uh, Kitty...did you chase that mouse under the bed? Is that mouse now hiding inside our boxspring? Not so Good Kitty.

You stay here until you have the situation under control. I need to make breakfast.

Meme

Someone sent me a meme by mail:

Four jobs I have had in my life: (In no particular order)
Research Intern at Children's Hospital
Accounting Specialist at T-Mobile
Parade Control at Disney World
Retail Sales at Godiva

Four movies I've watched more than once:
Life is Beautiful
Dangerous Beauty
The Red Violin
A Very Long Angagement

Four places I have lived:
Evergreen CO
Minneapolis MN
Seattle WA
Ft Collins CO

Four places I have been:
Kuaii HI
Santa Barbara CA
Vancouver BC Canada
Victoria BC Canada

Four people who e-mail me:
My SIL
My BF in Washington
Several people from Nigeria
Even more people genuinely concerned about my $ex life

Four of my favorite foods:
Hummus
Anything Mexican Chocolate
Stouffers Mac n Cheese
Ripe, creamy cheese

Four places I would rather be right now:
Seattle WA
Kuaii HI
Anywhere in Europe
Any warm beach, under an umbrella, with a cabana boy catering to my every need

Four things I am looking forward to this year:
My 2yo starting Preschool
A debilitating snowstorm (as long as we are all safe at home when it happens)
A democratic government
Swimming lessons (for my kids) where I don't have to get in the pool.

Four Shows that I watch:
The Office
The Amazing Race
America's Test kitchen
Any PBS Kids show

A Letter to my CSU Colorguard--year withheld

Note to readers--if you don't understand, don't worry.

Hi Ladies,

I went to the game today. I mean, I went to see the band and there were some guys dressed in tight pants running around the field during the interem. I thought I would share what I know of the current band/colorguard.

Pregame is pretty cool. The trombones still do the suicides and they are featured during pregame. The colorguard runs out with a huge CSU flag (about 50 x 30 feet) before the cheerleaders and those tight-pants guys. The bands still forms the "CSU", "RAMS" and now they form ram horns. Overall, I'm impressed.

The band now sits in the center of the student section (it's about time!). It has about 200 members now. The stadium still sucks the noise and hides it from the fans. And there is now a pit. Don't ask me what they do with the xylophones during a parade.

Two years ago, the colorguard was incredible. They had lots of tricks (tosses) and they incorporated a lot with the cheer and poms (the entire group was called "Auxillary"). It was great to see the level of the colorguard, but the cheer and poms were less than our day. The cheer have no men (I don't know why) which means no great stunts, and the poms are not the athletes they were when I tried out. Though they are still better athletes than I am currently.

The halftime shows since then have gone downhill. Last homecoming (2007), They did music from Wicked and some student dressed up as a witch and sang. The whole show smacked of early '90s high school band (not that I would know). This year was worse. There was no marching, no guard drill; it was "CSU Idol." The band played music for two idols to sing to and we were supposed to Text our vote. This was Homecoming. I was thrilled I spent $28.00 on the ticket. The tight-pants guys didn't even win. Lame.

Today's show was better because it was band day. A few HS bands came and the bands just parked and blowed but the guards had drill. No marching. And I haven't seen any tosses for a couple years. The uniforms are better though (doesn't "Jolly Green Giant Grope," "White Pilazzos," and "Gold Poufs" take you back?).

I heard that when Drum Insructor left (don't know if he quit or was let go) Wife left with him. Neither of them are in the Colorado HS band circuit. I'm not big with the alumni band thing. I would rather take my kids to the parade and tailgate with my husband. Let's face it, there isn't a whole lot for alumni Colorguard to do.

Anyway, thought you might like an update.

Oh, and in cold weather they wear these great stocking caps that are white, green and gold and say "CSU BAND" on them. I have asked (begged) repeatedly and no one will sell me one.

No, I don't want to knit one for myself. I want theirs.

Love,
Mama Goose

P.S. Where is Peggy Pompom?

Knitting

I've been slowly working on some fairly difficult knitting projects. One is lace on size zeros. One is a pullover on size threes with thirteen colors of yarn. I force myself to do one row a day on each project.

Yesterday I broke. I pulled out some fingering weight that was lurking in my stash, four-plied it (this brings it up to a bulky weight), and cast-on for a set of felted clogs.

It feels good to work on size 13 needles. I'm flying through yarn like it's chocolate and I've already finished one of them.

Maybe knitting with needles the width of pencil lead is what has ruined my mojo.

How Weird is This?

When my college friend got in touch with me last week, I replied, with unabashed excitement, and said all I needed was to get in contact with another fellow member of the colorguard and my reunion would be complete.

Guess what? That person emailed me tonight.

Now if only I could win the lottery without buying a ticket...

Arrg!

I am having problems with technology.

After a few years of hard use, I decided to get a new desktop computer. I figured I would rather pay for memory and processor speed than portability.

The router was stashed away.

Now we have a Wii, and there are some cool features that benefit from an internet connection.

We can't get the router to work. We lost the CD that came with it. The website of our product is hard to navigate. We thought we made contact but they gave us a password to login to a place we can't find. Best Buy said we don't need software, we can set it up ourselves. Yeah right.

Here's the deal. All the lights do what they are supposed to do, but the desktop will not read the connection (which comes through wires, not a signal). The laptop sees the signal but won't connect and when I go to 192.168.1.1, I can login, but it claims there is no internet connection.

All I want is a set-up CD for a NetGear Router. The rangemax WPN824 v2.

It's all I want. It's all we asked for. Can anyone help?

The Businessman

I envy women who have geek husbands. They will never have "issues" with their routers. They will never need to worry about internet speed, memory, or processers. They will have cool gadgets for thier websites and the latest in time-sucking video games.


I envy women who have handyman husbands. They will never have dripping faucets, dripping oil, or wires dripping from their ceilings (for months at a time). They will never need to worry about car repairs, home repairs or hiring contractors. They will have beautiful bathrooms, kitchens, and garages.

I married a businessman. I pay for car repairs, oil changes, new computers and "upgrades." I do most home repairs and renovations myself. I have ceiling fixtures that are not attached to the ceiling, routers that refuse to do their job, and a car that is 1500 miles overdue for an oil change.


I have a man who writes up business models based on every single item I have ever made. He finds genius in advertising during Saturday morning cartoons. He plays any and all games strategically and agressively.


He also lets me have one evening a week all to myself (we call it Boys' Night Out). He runs a hot bath for me when I have had too much "boyhood." He pretends to hate my cat (but secretly likes him). He cooks meals when necessary. He never questions purchases made from yarn, fabric, or craft stores.


And overall, I'm glad he's around. His new name is:

The Businessman

And if you're wondering where the "humor" comes in. Well, here you go. Just kick the kids out of the room for a couple minutes. If you're not laughing, stay married a little longer, it'll come.

Healthy Strategies

A friend has just blogged about changing up her diet for the better. She asked for suggestions. Rather than fill her comment section, I'll just post here.

I feel I should warn my loyal following that I do not resemble a fit person by any means. My diet is 50% meticulous (only whole grains, no hydrogenated fat or HF corn syrup), 40% healthy (few processed foods, lots of veggies, low cholesterol), and 10% Ben and Jerry's, chocolate, and treats I bake. That 10% is actually a lot of calories. If I could give them up, I would be a lean, mean mama.

They need rehab centers for chocolate. And cheese. I guess I could also run more.

Anyway:

• I find the easiest thing to do is go through your cabinets/pantry at least quarterly and throw out EVERYTHING you don't want in your diet anymore. It's amazing how quickly it accumulates--like every time DH goes into a grocery store alone.
• I've learned to make quick salad dressings from scratch. 3 or less:1 oil:acid. Add flavorings as desired.
• If you're a popcorn person you can pop regular old popcorn in a brown paper bag in the microwave--wait until the popping slows, just like "normal" microwave popcorn. Add flavor after you pop it if desired.
• When you cook things that take time and/or effort--like garbazo beans at altitude (three days in a crockpot!!!*) make double or triple batches and freeze it in individual portions. You can make cereal and salads with grains and beans are very versatile.
• The novelty of cooking new recipes wears off quickly. Find two or three recipes you always fall back on and update them. This was the first thing I did when I became vegetarian. I still have comfort foods, they're simply updated.

So I hope these help. None are terribly original but they all work for me.

And maybe someone can give me suggestions about chocolate.

*Yes, I know. I got a pressure cooker after that. I still recommend double batches.

Experiment in the Kitchen

My mom was watching some foodie channel that I don't get and she called me to tell me about a cool trick she saw. A chef (and if I knew who it was I would totally link back to him) made a "Cole" slaw but used raw squash instead of cabbage.

Anything that involves squash is fair game for me (and induces eye-rolls in my family). I loved the idea of using the texture of raw sqaush.

Here's my riff on the theme.

2 apples, grated (keep the peel on for extra fiber)
1 raw acorn squash, peeled and grated
3T cider vinegar
2 cloves, 1 cardamom pod, 1 peppercorn, 1 allspice
2 t cinnamon
about 2 cups plain yogurt
brown sugar

1. Put grated squash and apple in a bowl.
2. In a microwave-safe cup, microwave the vinegar and whole spices. Let steep as long as you can (I was in a rush and it was maybe five minutes. My next batch is steeping right now)
3. Remove the spices. Stir in Cinnamon. Add it and the yogurt (start with half the yogurt) to the slaw. Add enough yogurt to make it creamy enough for you.
4. Add brown sugar to taste (I used a couple Ts)

Watch in amazement as 5yo munches it down for his snack.

Birthday Plans

I wish to have a contest among my readers. Consider it a Birthday present to me.

I would like a better nickname for my DH. DH is just so generic.

Rules:

• It has to be clean (I know what you're thinking LEI)
• It may not be smarmy
• Humor and creativity are encouraged

Leave a comment. Sorry no prizes, except a link to your website/blog if applicable.

Collection

A dear friend from high school
A dear friend from college
A dear friend in Seattle

They all have the same name with different spellings.

My DH's BF in college
His BF in Seattle
His BF in Ft Collins

All four letter words names.

We have always been people who would rather have one or two good, strong friendships than several "buddies." This might explain things.

Why I Do It

When I first started blogging, two years ago, (happy blogiversary) my intention was to keep in touch with various friends I have around the country. Okay, so it was one friend (Hi CDB!) but now I have a loyal following of about five people (Hi mom!). Don't get me wrong. If you find me interesting I'm glad to write for you. But I write to a specific audience so don't feel bad if you don't get the joke.

Yesterday I got a message from a friend I have been trying to find for ten years. I knew she had probably changed her last name. I knew that she, like me, would probably be fairly transient after college. But I wanted to find her. I searched her through my alumni association. I Googled her. I kept looking for her name in Amazon (she wanted to illustrate/write children's books).

And she found me.

I'm not convinced all this technology is the best thing our society has created. But sometimes it has its perks.

Halloween

We all dress up in this house. Might as well right? This year my oldest wanted to be a robot. My youngest wanted to be a happy pumpkin (strange request for a boy's boy but I think 'Halloween' means 'Pumpkin" to him.

Of course I made the costumes. Do you know me at all?

I was a peacock again this year. I love this costume. It's simple, effective, and there are no parts I have to carry around and lose. I think I may be a peacock again next year. I keep thinking about using real feathers though.

DH also duplicated. He was Uncle Sam again. No pictures though (unless you got our X-mas card five years ago). When he got home he immediately removed the realistic eyebrows, sideburns and goatee I glued on him. They looked great while they were on though.

Daring Bakers-October

Once again, I managed to do my challenge early in October, but I forgot to blog about it.

Our recipe this month was hand-tossed pizzas. I make pizza all the time. But I've never tossed it.

Turns out, the tossing isn't as scary as I thought it would be. Than again:

Oops. But seriously, I have finally found a use for all those skills I learned in Marching Band Colorguard (Hi Kerrie BTW).

Anyway, the other aspect of the challenge was to have a couple toppings. I am all about creative pizza. But I had a few mouths to feed this day:

Applesauce and cinnamon-The kids love this. If I wasn't saving my apples for caramel apples, I would have used them. I probably would have put caramel on the pizza too.

Olive oil, fresh tomato, fresh mozzarella, Fleur de Sel (fancy sea salt). This would have been my favorite, but I'm trying to consume less dairy.

Hummus, Spinach, roasted garlic. My mom and I were the only ones who tried this. It was pretty good.

You can find the Pizza crust recipe for DB here along with the bittersweet story of why we covered ourselves with falling dough. Generally, pizza dough is easy to riff, but the story deserves to be read.

Had it not been raining this day, I would have wowed everyone by slapping the crust right on the grill and grilling the pizza. We do this all Summer. It's fairly easy as long as you can control your grill's temp. You simply slap the dough right on the grill (lowest heat) let it set up (about 10-20 seconds), flip it, add toppings, and remove before after the cheese is melted but before it burns.

There is a rumor that obsene amounts of sugar will be in November's challenge.

Shhhhh.